Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
