i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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