There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
