I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
