even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
