sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
