Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize