So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
