When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I did not marry a roomba.
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