it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
