Umm I'm too high to move.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Randomize