dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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