Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
