I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
