Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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