i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize