my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
