I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
