My room smells like vodka and shame
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
