There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
love makes seman taste better
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize