: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
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