so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
