Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize