Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
This is classic penis vs brain.
Randomize
