Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
