I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
