So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
