She's JV to your varsity
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize