Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
im calling her cock vulture from now on
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize