Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
