I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I skipped work to stalk him.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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