Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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