I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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