dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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