i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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