And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
