It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
