Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
