That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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