Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
