I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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