pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
