I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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