Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
