Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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