Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
