The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
