I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
