it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
