apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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