I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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