Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
