The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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