i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
