I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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