You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she told me i tasted like america
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
