every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am available for nakedness
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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