It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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