I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
