instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
