she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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