I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize