i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
