Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
