I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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