My nipple is on Facebook.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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